TRAINING vs CORRECTION

Most parents use correction as their tool for changing behavior. That’s not wrong. In fact, God uses correction with us, his children, to help us change. But a heart-based approach to parenting is much bigger than that. In fact, many parents move to consequences too quickly. 

A reward/punishment model for changing behavior rarely works for the long-term. In fact, kids with ADHD or who are strong-willed only change temporarily in order to avoid the punishment or gain the reward. Furthermore, the reward has to get bigger and bigger or the punishment worse and worse in order to be effective, often rendering the whole system ineffective.

A heart-based approach focuses on training. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go.” That one idea is revolutionary for many parents. Some don’t get it. They think that just means use more correction. But training is significantly different. It focuses on practicing doing the right thing, whereas correction focuses simply getting rid of the wrong actions.