How Can I Get My Children to 
TAKE INITIATIVE?

Prodding kids along to get things done drains family life. We all know it. If only kids could see what needs to be done and take some initiative! Is it possible to train children to act without the continual pushing and prodding from parents? We say Yes! It is possible but it doesn’t typically happen without some intentional work. 

In the preschool classroom a four-year-old learns to get out a mat, then a toy to play with on that mat. When he’s done playing, he puts the toy away and then puts the mat away before he moves to a different station. Yet the same child leaves messes all over the house at home. Why? It has to do with training and in our book entitled Motivate Your Child: A Christian Parent's Guide to Raising Kids Who Do What They Need to Do Without Being Told we’ve provided the roadmap you can use to teach your kids to be internally motivated in most any area. 

Here’s how it works. First, parents need to move away from the reward/punishment model that stifles initiative in kids. Offering a reward gets kids asking about the minimum they need to do to get the reward. “Clean up your mess and you can play on the computer.” That approach, used over time, breeds selfishness in kids because they continually want to know what you’re going to give them if they do what you say. Children wait to be told what to do, and then evaluate the reward for obeying. 

What’s the reason that a child should have for cleaning up a mess? Is it so the child can play on the computer, or because it’s the right thing to do? With the right plan, parents can train their kids to manage themselves more and rely less on parents to prompt them along. 

Internal motivation relies on promptings from the inside to take action in four areas: Do what’s right, Deal with wrongs, Be honest, and Care about others. One of the signs of maturity at any age is demonstrated when a child takes initiative. Of course, it warms a parent’s heart when a child thinks maturely, or cares for someone else, or takes a stand for what’s right.