Proverbs 11:12 “He who despises his neighbor lacks heart.  But a man of understanding keeps silent.” Proverbs 14:29: “He who is slow to anger has great understanding.”   Stephen Covey in his book, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” relates an account on a subway in New York.  A man and his children boarded the train and his children were loud and unruly they disrupted the entire train.  The man sat down next to Covey and was oblivious to the situation.  Covey finally told the man, “Sir, your children are really disturbing everyone here.  I wonder if you couldn’t control them.”  The man looked startled, then said, “Oh, you're right.  I guess I should do something.  We just came from the hospital, where their mother died about an hour ago.  I don’t know what to think and I guess the children don’t know how to handle it either.”

There is a valuable lesson here for all of us in every setting of life including our family, work, church and community.  We should always seek to understand before we seek to be understood.  Often people aggravate or irritate us because they are personally in pain and trials.  We need to look beyond their words and actions and seek to understand their situation and hearts.  There are times when we need to keep silent and other times to give a kind word and compassion.  We need to be slow to anger and look at the situation like Jesus would.  Our goal in leadership should be to make a spiritual impact and difference in the lives of those with whom we interact.  If the situation involves your family, take the time to listen carefully and understand the situation before you speak and act.  This is real leadership.