Proverbs 11:12 “A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue.”  The account is told of a man and his unruly children boarding a subway train in New York during a busy rush hour.  The children were so loud and rambunctious that they disrupted the whole carload of people.  The father sat down next to another man and seemed oblivious to the whole situation.  The man asked the father, “Sir, your children are out of control and disturbing everyone here.  I wonder if you couldn’t control them.”  The father looked perplexed and then said, “Oh, you’re right.  I guess I should corral them.  We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago.  I guess we don’t know how to handle it yet.”  The man quickly changed his whole attitude and learned a valuable lesson that we all need to learn: “Seek to understand before seeking to be understood.” 

This is one of the Seven Habits of Highly Successful People by Stephen Covey.  It should be one of our Christian habits every day.  People irritate and aggravate us in all walks of life and even in our own family because they are dealing with situations often beyond their control.  Have you ever lashed out at one of your children or even your wife to find that they are dealing with a tough situation in their own lives?  How did you feel when you found out the issue they were facing?  We have to have the attitude of looking beyond the moment and look at their hearts.  It may well be that they are looking to us for understanding, love and compassion.  They may well need our loving care and sincere counsel, rather than another word off our tongue or kick in the rear.  We need to seek to understand before seeking to have our position be understood.  There are always two sides to every issue:  yours, mine and what is right.  Seek to always make yours the same as what is right.