Ephesians 6:4: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” One of the greatest leadership challenges and responsibilities for a man is to be a father. It is not a road down which a young man has gone before and he only gets one chance at it with each child. Fathers are to be a spiritual example of Christ as a father or dad who understands that he is called to lead, instruct and discipline his children according to God’s Word.

A real father is not to focus on being his children’s friend or buddy. In fact, his children already have plenty of them, but they have only ONE FATHER. The role of a father is far different than that of a buddy. It is okay to be your children’s friend, but you must first be a father and never get the two reversed. A child’s primary need is not companionship, but leadership and example of how to live. Modern psychology has in recent years promoted the buddy father philosophy. It has gone so far as to propose that if parents “buddy up to” and love their children enough, they will not have to discipline them.

Question: “Does your Heavenly Father who loves you even more than you love your children not have to discipline you?” It is precisely because He loves you that He disciplines you. We are not God’s peers and neither are we our kid’s peers. When we become peers to our children, we stand on equal and shaky ground which undermines our God ordained position and authority. We should tell our children, “As your father, I will stand beside you and walk with you. But, make no mistake, I will stand in front of you when I need to.”

It is easier to instruct, lead and correct someone when you are in a position of authority which is exactly your position as a father. Tell your children that God has placed you in this position and that you take the responsibility very seriously for their benefit. In the book, Trust: The One Thing That Makes or Breaks a Leader by Lee Csorba, we find this statement, “When we begin to lead our children in a way that categorizes them as our buddies, then it makes the necessary act of fathering more difficult. We don’t want to impose boundaries, restrictions and discipline. It is much easier to become a father than to be one. We might say it is much easier to become a buddy to our children than to be their dad. That is the easy way out.”